Westtown Church
Westtown Church
Love Is Not Resentful
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In personal relationships, resentment is an accountant who keeps a record of wrongs, but love is a firefighter that quenches relational fires big and small. We see this most beautifully and supremely in Jesus Christ and His death on the Cross for us and for our sins.
Introduction to Holy Love
Speaker 1Good morning , westtown Church . It's kind of fun to be together , isn't it ? Who stole your seat ? It's all right , jesus would have given it up . Well , we're going to be back in 1 Corinthians 13 . Sometimes I do preach on Ascension and Pentecost on those traditional days , but not today . We're going to be in Corinthians and give Corinthians its due . James Renahan .
Speaker 1He says love lives in a fallen world , surrounded by offenses . It's constantly perplexed by fear , hatred and sorrow . Often , love will be assaulted for its purity , ridiculed for its honesty and slandered for righteousness . As the blows are received , love acts in a certain way different from the world and its responses to the same deeds . As the blows are received , love acts in a certain way different from the world . Christian love is a holy love . That's what we mean by a holy love . It's different than the world . It's not a love that's earned , but a love that's steadfast in the face of failure .
Speaker 1As the blows are received , jesus acts in a certain way different from the world , and we see that so clearly in the gospels , and we see it reflected by a matter of degree in God's people , by the grace of the Holy Spirit . And so what about you and me this morning as we come back to the love chapter . As the blows are received , jesus commands us and he empowers us by his spirit to act in a certain way that's different from the world . Jesus said to you , westtown Church and , for that matter , the church at large you are the light of the world . A city set on a hill cannot be hidden , nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket , but on a stand , and it gives light to all in the house In the same way . Let your light shine before others , jesus says , so that they might see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven . So that's what we are , as God's people the light of the world . Of course , by the grace of God , by the Spirit of God working in us , the light of Christ , by His Spirit working in us , we are the light of the world .
Speaker 1The issue for you and me is how bright will we shine ? How bright will we shine in this world ? Some of the best things we learn is when we're little . This little light of mine , this little light of mine , let it shine , let it shine , let it shine right . Simple , but not as easy in this fallen world to do . Huh . We need the grace of God to do this . We do that when we love one another and other people .
Speaker 1As we live in a fallen world , surrounded by what Constant offenses , offenses and the blows as they're received , we are called by our Savior to act in a certain way that's different than the world , and he doesn't just command us to act in a certain way's different than the world , and he doesn't just command us to act in a certain way . He gives us his spirit and therefore we have access to his grace to act in a certain way . God commands us , but then he equips us by his grace to act in a certain
Love Is Not Resentful
Speaker 1way different from the world . You'll notice here we're in the middle section of 1 Corinthians 13 , verses 4 through 7 , and we're at the end of verse 5 , and here's what it says Love is not resentful , Love is not resentful , and that's what I want us to ponder this morning as we continue to think God is love , jesus is love , the Holy Spirit is love , continue to think God is love , jesus is love , the Holy Spirit is love and love is not resentful . So , with that brief introduction , I'd like to invite you , if you're able this morning , to stand . I would like to read God's Word , and it's sent to us in love . It's sent to us because God cares for us . So let's receive it by faith , and let's receive it with expectation that His Spirit will be doing surgery in our hearts this morning .
Speaker 11 Corinthians 13 , verse 1, . Here's the infallible and errant holy word of the living God . If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels but have not love , I am a noisy gong or clanging cymbal . And if I have prophetic powers and understand all mysteries and all knowledge , and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains , but have not love , I am nothing . If I give away all I have and if I deliver up my body to be burned but have not love , I gain nothing .
Speaker 1Love is patient and kind . Love does not envy or boast . It is not arrogant or rude , it does not insist on its own way , it is not irritable or resentful . It does not rejoice at wrongdoing , but rejoices with the truth . Love bears all things , believes all things , hopes all things , endures all things . Love never ends . The grass withers and the flowers fade , but the word of the Lord endures forever .
Speaker 1God's people said amen , thank you , you may be . Seated . Said amen , thank you , you may be seated , Father . We now come into your presence to hear you speak to us through your word and by your spirit . Show us the glory of the Lord . Jesus Christ , let us grasp his beauty and goodness and love this morning , and would you transform our hearts to be more and more loving like you ? It's in Jesus' name we pray , amen .
Speaker 1Well , love is not resentful . That's the principle we're going to look at this morning . Everything else I say is going to hang on that . That's the one hook there on the hat rack this morning . But love is not resentful because Jesus is not resentful . Aren't you glad ? Aren't you glad Jesus is not a Lord that's full of resentment ?
Speaker 1The King James has it this way love thanketh no evil . The King James has it this way love thanketh no evil . The ESV , which I just read to you , the English Standard Version , very good , modern version . It translates it as resentful and this word is an accounting term . I know we got some CPAs in this church and some bookkeepers . We can hear it more clearly when we listen to the New American Standard Bible . Here's how it translates it Love does not keep an account of a wrong suffered .
Speaker 1Or the Holman Standard Bible , relatively new version . Love does not keep an account of wrongs . To thinketh no evil . In the King James Version , what it is , it's really a particular way of thinking . It's a particular way of thinking . Love thinks about the evil done to it in such a way that it doesn't keep a record of the wrongs done . And thus , because it doesn't keep a record of the wrongs done , it doesn't grow resentful . It thinks in a particular way . We become resentful towards those who've hurt or injured us or offended us when we take the wrong they've done and , like a CPA or a bookkeeper , we write it down in our mental ledger so that we can use it against them at a later time .
God's Love Keeps No Record
Speaker 1That's what resentment is holding on to use at a later time against them . But love thinketh no evil . Paul says love does not keep a record of wrongs . Love is therefore not resentful . John MacArthur , I like what he says .
Speaker 1Resentment is careful to keep books which it reads and rereads , which it reads and rereads . Resentment's like a keeping of books and we keep reading and rereading that same book , hoping for a chance to get even . Love keeps no books because it has no place for resentment or grudges . Listen , love quenches wrongs rather than records them . Love quenches wrongs rather than records them . It does not cultivate memories out of evil . Cultivate it's like a gardening term . I was wronged , so I'm going to stay in this garden and cultivate memories of this wrong done to me , the early church father Chrysostom .
Speaker 1He noted a wrong done against love is like a spark that falls into the sea and is quenched . It's a beautiful picture of love , isn't it ? Quenched ? It's a beautiful picture of love , isn't it ? It's a beautiful thought , but in real life it can be very difficult sometimes for us to do that . Love's a wrong done . A wrong done against love is like a spark that falls into the sea and is quenched . In that sense love is a firefighter . It's not so much a bookkeeper as it is a firefighter . It quenches relational fires , big and small . And so when someone sins against us , when someone disappoints or offends us or hurts us maybe they even are persecuting us we're either going to allow the spark or fire and this flame to burn and stay alive in our hearts a little campfire in our hearts or we can quench that spark or fire with a fire hose called love . Now I've got to qualify .
Speaker 1Many things in the Bible need qualification . Love's not naive . Love is not blind to the evil or sin done . Love sees sin as sin . Love knows what wrong is . We're not called to deny these things .
Speaker 1But here's the difference . Ck Barrett puts it like this Love takes evil upon itself and thus disposes of it . You see , it's not the denial of the evil , it's not the denial of the sin . It's not the denial of the sin , it's not being naive or making light of sin , but it's taking that evil or sin upon ourselves and thereby disposing of it . It's absorbing it out of love for the one who offended us . Where do we see this most clearly ? And we know the answer that cross hanging above me .
Speaker 1What is Jesus Christ doing there ? What is the Holy Son of God , who did no wrong , hanging on that cross ? He's hanging there for our sins . He's hanging there for our sins . He's absorbing . He's not ignoring our sin . He's not making light of our sin . If our sin was not a big deal , he wouldn't be up there . But what he's doing is he sees it for what it is and yet he absorbs the punishment . He absorbs that in love for us . He absorbs that in love for us . Jesus bore our evil . He bore our wicked sins against God on the cross and in so doing he drowned them in the depths of the sea . Amen , this is the glory of the gospel . It's the beauty of the love of God . This is who God is growing us in to be . This is how he is growing us to be more and more like Christ . Think God , we're not what we used to be , but we're not home in glory yet we can still grow in this area .
Speaker 1Each one examined their own heart this morning . When are our sins drowned in the depths of the sea ? The Bible says the day we simply trust in Christ , we see him who he is . He's the son of God and savior of sinners . We acknowledge that he's died for our sins and risen from the dead Amen . And then we actually trust him . The devil knows the first two and affirms the first two , but the devil doesn't trust Christ . Saving faith trusts Christ . It receives the free gift of forgiveness from him .
Speaker 1The prophet Micah marveled at the end of his Old Testament prophetic book in this way Micah 7 , verse 18 to 20 . Listen , it's a beautiful passage . Who is a God like you ? Now , what is Micah so marveling about ? Who is a God like you , pardoning iniquity and passing over transgressions for the remnant of his inheritance . Transgressions for the remnant of his inheritance .
Speaker 1You see he's marveling at the forgiving heart of God . He does not retain his anger forever . You see he doesn't make light of sin . There's times he has to discipline and deal with sin . But look what he truly delights in . He does not retain his anger forever because he delights in steadfast love . That's really what he loves to show . That's what delights God's heart to show his steadfast love . He will again have compassion on us . He will tread our iniquities underfoot . You will cast all our sins not most , not the little ones All our sins will be cast into the depths of the sea . You will show faithfulness to Jacob and steadfast love to Abraham , as you have sworn to our fathers from the days of old .
Speaker 1Who is a God like you , who has a heart like that ? It's God , it's the Lord . He will cast all his people's sins , not in part , but the whole , into the depths of the sea , because he delights in steadfast love . He delights in covenant love . He delights in being loyal ,
Gospel Accounting vs Worldly Accounting
Speaker 1even to us when we fail him . It's his delight . He delights to keep his promises of salvation .
Speaker 1God doesn't keep his promises of salvation with resentment in his heart Like , yeah , I forgive you , but hmm , aren't you glad ? God's heart isn't like that . He delights to keep his promises to us . The purity and the holiness of God's love . There's nothing like it in all the world . Who is a God like him ? Who is like the Lord ? Period . And so what do we sing ? Great is thy faithfulness , morning by morning , what New mercies I see . Why is that ? Because that's the heart of God . He delights to pour out new mercies every single day . And , what's amazing , even the holiest of saints on this side of glory sins every day , in word , thought and deed . And yet every day when the sun comes up , god has new mercies for us . What a great God we serve . How exactly is God able to cast all our sins into the depths of the sea ? Well , both the Old Testament believers as well as the new are forgiven on the same basis .
Speaker 1We hear it in Colossians , chapter three . The apostle Paul says this listen and you he's speaking about the Christians in Colossae and you who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh , in other words , the corruption and uncleanness of your sinful nature . You who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh God made alive together with him . You see , he gave them a new heart . He took out their uncircumcised heart and gave them a circumcised heart , we'd say . He took out our unbaptized heart and gave us a baptized heart , a clean heart . How ?
Speaker 1By canceling the record of debt Do you hear the accounting term ? By canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its what Its legal demands On the record book of heaven , the record books of heaven . We had a legal problem , we had an accounting problem , we had a mountain of debt called sin . And what did he do ? By canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands , with its legal demands . This he set aside , nailing it to the cross . To be more specific , he nailed it to Jesus . He nailed Jesus to that cross and Christ absorbed our offense against him . Anytime we sin against another person , we're sinning against God , because every person is made in the image of God .
Speaker 1The beauty of the forgiving love of God . I love gospel accounting . It's different than the world's accounting accounting . I was just watching a video by Tim Keller recently , last night , as a matter of fact , and he was saying what an opportunity we as Christians have in our world now , because there's so much caustic discourse in our culture and we have an opportunity , you and I .
Speaker 1Love takes evil upon itself and thus disposes of it . And so what's this mean ? It means we're never more like God , our Father , who sent the Son in love , and we're never more like Jesus Christ , who came to die for our sins in love , and we're never more like the Holy Spirit , who applies what Christ accomplished and the Father planned in love . We're never more like God than when we refuse to keep a record of the wrongs that others have done for us and we're just keeping hold of it in a resentful way because we've been hurt and we might need to use that . When we refuse that , when we say no , that's not who I am as a child of God . That's not my God , that's not who I serve . God has not saved me to be like that . He didn't even create me to be like that . He didn't even create me to be like that . Jesus didn't die for me to be like that .
Speaker 1As the blows are received , love acts in a certain way different from the world and its responses to the same deeds . Now , maybe you didn't like your accounting classes , I don't know , but we're all spiritual accountants of one sort or another . All of us have a spiritual accounting system and god is saying to each one of us , including this pastor what kind of a spiritual accounting system do you have ? Is it like Christ's accounting system or is it like the world's , which is full of resentment ? Is it loving or resentful ? Let me ask you this morning each man examine their own heart and don't think , oh , I wish so-and-so was here . God has you and I here . Who do you resent ? Is there someone in your life that , if you're honest before God , who knows our hearts , we're holding a grudge ?
Speaker 1Brothers and sisters , let us all remember this morning God nailed our record of sin and sin debts to the cross . Christ absorbed it and as he was close to taking his last , what does he say ? It is finished . Tetelestai , that ancient stamp . That means debt paid in full . If you've ever paid off a mortgage , aren't you glad you have that stamp on there , paid off in full ? Hey , my car is paid off in full , all right . When Christ died he said it is finished . That's the word Tetelestai , debt paid in full . How can we worship our God and receive his love where he holds no resentment to us ? Christ does not resent the pain of hell that he absorbed for you and me . Aren't you glad for that ? And God is saying don't get pulled into the world's way of accounting .
Speaker 1You remember a few weeks ago we talked about Matthew 18 , and there's a parable in there . Remember , jesus was asked by Peter how many times should I forgive someone if they do something against me ? Seven times . And you may remember the rabbis were teaching at the time that if someone did the same offense to you three times , after the third time you don't have to forgive them anymore . And Jesus says so . Peter , like I said , probably thought he was really spiritual . He probably thought Jesus is going to be so proud of me when I say seven . But Jesus then stuns them not seven times , but 70 times seven . And then that's when he goes on to tell them the parable of the unforgiving servant .
Speaker 1And you remember about that parable . You remember there was a king and the king had two servants . And it says in that parable that there was a king who wished to settle accounts . You see how accounting comes in . He's going to settle up his accounts . It's an accounting parable .
Speaker 1And the king had a servant there who owed him 10,000 talents , which a talent's roughly 20 years . Some say 16 , some 20 , but just to keep it simple , 20 years , 10,000 talents times 20 years , 200,000 years of debt . He couldn't pay it and the guy begged the king , forgive me , have patience with me . He actually said have patience with me . He'd have been better just to say forgive me , but he says , have patience with me and I'll pay you everything . He didn't really understand his debt . That's his first problem .
Speaker 1And then the king in his mercy , grants him , forgives the debt . And then that same servant goes out and sees another servant , his fellow servant , that owes him about 100 denarii , which is about 100 days wages , between three and four months what ? Three months and 10 days or so of wages . And he begins to choke him Pay me what you owe . 200,000 years , a little over three months . So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with me , I'll pay you . But the guy refused . And then , when the other servants saw how that first servant had treated the second , they went and told the king and then the master summoned that first servant you , wicked servant , I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me and should not ? You have had mercy on your fellow servant , as I had mercy on you . And then then it says , and in anger , his master delivered him to the jailers , literally the torturers , until he should pay all his debt . So also my heavenly father , jesus , says , will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart .
Speaker 1Christ is serious about forgiveness . It's at the very heart of the gospel . 1 Corinthians 5.19, . Paul says that in Christ , god was reconciling the world to himself , not counting their trespasses against them . You hear the accounting . He was aware of our sins , but he wasn't counting them against us . He'll never use our sins against us , aren't you glad ? Never . He's aware of our sin , but he'll never use it against us .
Speaker 1Proverbs 10 , 12, . Hatred stirs up strife , but what does love do ? Love covers all offenses . Love covers all offenses . Hate stirs up strife .
When to Address Sin in Love
Speaker 1Proverbs 17 , 9, . Whoever covers an offense seeks love . But he who repeats a matter separates close friends Seeks love . But he who repeats a matter separates close friends . Love covers . One who covers is seeking love . Proverbs 19.11, .
Speaker 1Good sense makes one slow to anger , and it is his glory to overlook an offense . How many things in life should ? A little later on we thought to ourselves why didn't I just overlook that we can be petty . Love is not resentful or love does not keep a record of wrongs . Now I've said it this far . I need to make a few qualifications . Jonathan Edwards he said this very helpful in his famous sermon series on 1 Corinthians 13, .
Speaker 1Christian charity , which is what he calls love , christian love is not a thing founded on the ruins of reason . Paraphrased Christian love does not require us to throw our brains out the window . Christian love is not founded on the ruins of reason . It's a reasonable love . It's not a senseless love , it's a wise love .
Speaker 1We need to realize there's times when it's proper to keep a record of wrongs . There's times to credit to someone's account the evil that they've done . Let me give you an example . If you're a judge in Hillsborough County or the state of Florida , at the national level , the Bible is clear from Deuteronomy 25 that judges are , to quote , acquit the innocent and condemn the guilty . That's your job and God expects it . So there's a distinction in the Bible made between our personal relationships and civil duties , informal positions .
Speaker 1Proverbs 17 , 15 says he who justifies the wicked and he who condemns the righteous are both alike an abomination to the Lord . That's very strong language . It's an abomination to God when we justify the wicked and condemn the righteous . But there's a second time where it's appropriate to credit someone . In a certain sense . We have to remember that love disciplines , love disciplines . So we have to take that into account .
Speaker 1So how do you know when you can't simply overlook an offense to another in love ? Well , we have to remember that sin not only needs forgiveness . Right , sin's not only wrong , but sin needs healing because sin damages . Sin's not a matter of just forgiveness , it's a matter of healing . You see this in the Psalms . You read through the Psalms , you'll notice the psalmist not only prays for forgiveness , he prays for healing , because sin tears people up . You know the extreme example somebody that comes out of an abusive home . Look what sin does to these young children and youth . They're scarred , oftentimes for life . Sin does great damage . Though we can and should overlook much in love in this life , and we can probably overlook a lot more .
Speaker 1There is something in the Bible that can talk about the wounds of a friend , where a friend comes to you because there's an understood love between you and they can say things , perhaps that maybe others can't Faithful . Are the wounds of a friend ? Profuse , are the kisses of an enemy Proverbs 27.6 . So there's a place to note . But you see , that's different than resenting . When a friend comes to you , they're trying to help you . They're not getting back at you . They care about your character and your soul , not just your comfort . And so a good friend , without a judgmental spirit and after taking the beam out of their own eye , will come to you in humility and have a talk with you because they care for you out of their own eye , will come to you in humility and have a talk with you because they care for you .
Speaker 1And sometimes people have to point out the sin in our life , or we have to point it out in theirs because , frankly , it's not just about the other person that's sinning . Their sin is damaging not only , maybe , your relationship , but maybe their relationship with someone else . Maybe it's damaging the church , or maybe it's damaging , damaging the workplace or whatever the case may be , maybe it's damaging the family . This is why Paul , who wrote 1 Corinthians 13 , inspired by the Spirit , says in 1 Corinthians , chapter 5 , he rebuked the Corinthian church because they didn't discipline a man who was in an incestuous relationship . You're not to overlook serious things of that nature .
Speaker 1And in Matthew 18 , jesus teaches us how to deal with sin . How do you know whether to approach somebody , how do you know when to overlook it ? Well , if you're getting cold in your heart , if the sin is causing you to drift in your relationship , that's probably a good sign . I need to address this . I need to go to them and say look , your relationship's important to me , I care about you , I love you . I want there to be joy between us and this has happened and I don't want this between us . Can we talk about that ? But do it with gentleness , to the best of your ability . You're trying to preserve the intimacy of the relationship . Isn't it interesting Matthew 18 , where Jesus gives us instructions on how to go to someone ? You go to them in private . If you can't get it resolved , you get a help . Maybe how to go to someone . You go to them in private . If you can't get it resolved , you get a help . Maybe somebody to go with you If you work for a long time , depending on the seriousness of it .
Speaker 1If it's really , really serious , it may even have to come eventually to the church . In a Presbyterian church , that would be first the pastor in session and then hopefully it never gets to the level where a person is put out of the church . Those would be for very , very serious things , of course . But it would be neglectful for us if we're hiring people to work with our children and youth if we didn't keep their bad background check against them . We're not so much keeping it against them per se . We may not hold anything personal against them , but the reality of their past keeps us from having them working intimately with our children . Why ? Because sin damages and the consequences of that sin is not going to be put on the children or their parents . It's going to be put excuse me , it's going to be put on the person who actually did the sin . So you can't just leave sin unaddressed at times , and that's true in your family too .
Speaker 1Now we've seen how the cross teaches us about love . Is not resentful , but also think about God's love in terms of his providence
God's Love in Disguise
Speaker 1. You know what I mean by providence . When I say providence , I mean God's care for his whole creation , but he has a special regard for his people . So not a hair drops from our head without . Everything is sovereignly orchestrated by God . And so what am I saying ? Sometimes , when other people hurt us , we lose sight of the greatness of God , we lose sight of his greatness . What do I mean ? What I'm saying to you is that God's love often comes to us in disguise . God's love often comes to us in disguise . God's love often comes to us in disguise through the sins of other people towards us . That sounds kind of strange , but we see it in the scripture .
Speaker 1You remember Joseph in the book of Genesis , betrayed by his own brothers , sold into slavery in Egypt . Why ? Because they were envious of him . Imagine the pain he went through , the puzzlement , the loneliness , the fear , the abuse . The very ones who should have protected him hurt him . But what ended up happening In Joseph's case ? He was unable to see . This is not always the case . Sometimes in this life we're not unable to see why God has done certain things . But Joseph's story helps us see that God is often at work in ways that we just don't understand . And eventually Joseph was able to see that God used him to save not only his own family but all of Israel from the famine . And that wouldn't have happened if he had not been betrayed . And this is why Joseph could say you meant it for evil , but God meant it for good .
Speaker 1So God's love often comes in disguise , and so these things that have been appointed in your life , people that have done hard things to you or to me , god is using that , and what we tend to do is get our eyes fixed on the person who hurt us and we quit living by faith that God is actually doing something good through that Not that the thing itself is good , but that he's doing something good through it . And we have to learn . God , give me grace to lean hard into Romans 8 , 28 . And we know that for those who love God , all things work for good . They work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose . We have to free our eyes from being fixated on the person who hurt us and fix them on jesus , as scripture says . Fix your eyes on jesus , the author , perfecter of our faith . Look at judas . What judas did was wicked , but look at how God used it to save the world .
Speaker 1Peter betrayed Christ three times , but God didn't allow Peter to fall on his face to destroy him . He was trying to teach Peter something about Peter's own heart . Stop trusting yourself so much , peter . You're a little overconfident . God wasn't trying to destroy him . Love lives in a fallen world surrounded by offenses . It's constantly perplexed by fear , hatred and sorrow . Often it will be assaulted for its purity , ridiculed for honesty and slandered for righteousness . But as the blows are received , love acts in a certain way different from the world and its responses to the same deeds . God has united us by faith to Jesus . He's given us his spirit inside . He will not only forgive us for our resentful , unloving , hateful hearts , and he has promised us that he will purify our hearts in glory . But in the meantime he has promised to help us to grow more and more loving , so that we can let our light shine a little brighter in this dark and hate-filled world .